Raising kids can be both challenging and rewarding. It requires a good amount of resources, energy, effort and much love in order to raise kids who, we hope to become good adults. However, while we are busy juggling parenting, managing a household and working, we tend to forget that we are married too. We have spouses and marriage that need nurture and care too. Later in life, the kids will leave our home and we are left with one another. It is sad that when that day comes, we barely recognize our spouse as we have neglected our marriage and that person while we were raising a family.
That should not happen and here are some tips to help you nurture a good marriage.
Make time for your marriage. Prioritize your relationship with your spouse. Spend time and resources in order to make it grow. Nurture it. Find time to date your spouse, just the two of you. It does not have to be expensive, like an early evening walk or just watching sunset at the end of the day. However, if you have the resources, use it. Make him/ her remember why you two fell in love with each other in the first place.
Be happy with what you have. Fairytales are just that – fairytales. Real life relationships involve real people. Your spouse have flaws the same way that you have flaws too. Let go of the ideal relationship and ideal wife/ husband that you have been clinging on to. Instead, take a good look at your spouse and find his/ her strengths. List them down and be thankful.
Communicate. Prior to what most of us believe, husbands can’t read their wives’ mind. So speak up and never assume. Voice out your needs and wants, thoughts and expectations. Do not assume that your spouse already knows them. Remember too that women and men communicate differently. It is wise to know that while men communicate with facts, women, on the other hand, tend to communicate with their feelings. Remember too, that what you say can affect your spouse. Words have power so make sure that you use your ability to speak wisely.
Agree to Disagree. Learn how to argue in a right way, that is, to recognize that your spouse is not an enemy and you just have different approaches or views on important matters like discipline, finance, etc. You do not have to prove that your spouse is wrong when arguing, you just both have to identify the real issue, agree to discuss your views and settle for something that the two of you agree on.
Set acceptable and realistic boundaries involving family-of-origin. This is the solution for couples in order to support your growth as a couple and family. Make sure to commit to these fair guidelines in order to avoid issues involving the in-law.
Have an agreement on how to manage your finances. Combine your financial resources and agree on how to spend, save and invest them. Remember that the wife and husband have the equal say on the decision. It is wise to set aside an amount to be spent for a say, a weekly date of the husband and wife. Also, allot an amount for each spouse to spend in whatever way they want.